my.decorated.words

Sentuh Aku Ya Tuhan

2009-01-10T22:25:00.001+09:00

Jika di artikel sebelumnya aku menggumam soal pergi menuju sel, perjalanan pulang dari sel merupakan suatu hal yang beda total. Tidak pernah ada perasaan rugi atau membuang-buang ‘waktu berharga’ supaya bisa menyempatkan diri mengikuti sel. Aku selalu pulang dengan dada yang ringan, perasaan terlepaskan dan kebahagiaan karena sudah memuliakan nama Tuhan. Puji Tuhan ya kalau begitu. Hahaha.

So now perhaps to our English-speaking friends I’d like to share a couple of Christian songs in Indonesian that were appropriately (maybe accidentally appropriate) chosen for the cell-group today. The words are completely touching and so are the melodious tunes. Search for them on Youtube if you’d like to find out more. They’re originally soundtracks from two different Christian soap operas on Indonesian television channels. They were aired during Christmas last year, from memory. My unofficial translations are alogside the Indonesian lyric.

Lagu-lagu yang sudah amat terkenal di bawah ini mempunyai lirik yang relatif cocok dengan Firman minggu ini. Bapa, sentuhlah hatiku yang keras ini, lunakkanlah dan ubahlah hidupku agar mengikuti rancanganMu. Hindarilah aku dari kehendak daging dan antarkanlah aku kepada kehendakMu. JanjiMu seperti fajar pagi hari ya Bapa. Tidak pernah terlambat. Dalam lika-liku kehidupanku kutemukan Engkau, sumber jawabanku. Engkau yang menjagaiku selalu.

Sentuh Hatiku

JASON

Betapa kumencintai                             Oh, how I love
Segala yang t'lah terjadi                       All that has happened
Tak pernah sendiri jalani hidup ini           Never walked alone in living this life
Selalu menyertai                                 Always by my side

Betapa kumenyadari                            Oh, how I realised
Di dalam hidupku ini                             In this life of mine
Kau s’lalu memberi rancangan terbaik     You’ve always given the best plan
Oleh karena kasih                               As a result of love

Ref:
Bapa, sentuh hatiku                            Father, touch my heart
Ubah hidupku menjadi yang baru           Change my life so it becomes new
Bagai emas yang murni                        As gold that is pure
Kau membentuk bejana hatiku              You form the vessel of my heart

Bapa, ajarku mengerti                         Father, teach me to understand
Sebuah kasih yang selalu memberi         A love that is forever giving
Bagai air mengalir                               Like flowing water
Yang tiada pernah berhenti                  That never stops

JanjiMu Seperti Fajar Pagi Hari

AFEN HARDIYANTO

Ketika kuhadapi kehidupan ini                                When I face this life
Jalan mana yang harus kupilih                         Which way should I choose
Kutahu ku tak mampu                                       I know I’m not capable
Kutahu ku tak sanggup                              I know I don’t have the power
Hanya Kau Tuhan tempat jawabanku   Only You Lord the place of my answers

Aku pun tahu ku tak pernah sendiri                I also know I’m never alone
S'bab Engkau Allah yang menggendongku     Cos’ You’re God who carries me
TanganMu membelaiku                                      Your hand caresses me
CintaMu memuaskanku                                       Your love satisfies me
Kau mengangkatku ke tempat yang tinggi      You raised me to a high place

Ref:
JanjiMu seperti fajar pagi hari             Your promise is like the morning dawn
Dan tiada pernah terlambat bersinar                And never ever shines late
CintaMu seperti sungai yang mengalir       Your love is like a river that flows
Dan kutahu betapa dalam kasihMu           And I know how deep is Your love

External Links:

Chord for Sentuh Hatiku
Chord for JanjiMu Seperti Fajar Pagi Hari

Engkaulah Penopangku

2009-01-10T21:36:00.001+09:00

Refleksi

Hatiku tersentuh hari ini. Bukan, bukan cuma hari ini. Lewat lagu, perayaan Gereja, prosesi Misa, Firman dan kesaksian orang-orang di sekitarku, Ia telah berulang-kali melakukannya. Kesempatan hari ini hanyalah salah satunya sejak masa natal bernaung. Hanya saja sifatku, sebagai hamba yang begitu lancang, menghalang-halangi terwujudnya niat yang terpendam ini untuk merefleksikannya lebih dalam lagi. Ampuni aku ya Bapa. Aku ini tidak lain hanya anak malas yang lebih ingin mencari kesenangan duniawi, lebih ingin memanfaatkan kemewahan menggiurkan yang tersaji di depan kedua bola mataku. Jarang rasanya aku memilih untuk bersusah-payah. Aku ingin gampangnya saja.

Pertemuan Sel

Aku sungguh ingin menuruti Engkau. Aku rindu dipelukMu. Aku tahu aku kangen dengan kasihMu yang amat memulihkan. Dan Engkau tahu ya Bapa, dengan tujuan itu aku hadir di sel minggu lalu. Lalu sekali lagi Engkau menuntun langkahku untuk hadir di sel hari ini. Perjalanan naik mobil menuju pertemuan sel memang panjang dan selalu saja dipenuhi pertanyaan batin. Ini sangat aku rasakan terutama selama liburan. Aduh Tuhan, kenapa aku mesti datang lagi? Tinggal tiga hari lagi aku sudah bisa lepas dari ‘kewajiban’ ini. Aku sudah di Indonesia. Mengapa Tuhan? Ya Tuhan, aku kan juga harus pulang cepat, adikku ada janji beli seragam. Sia-siakah ini? Roda kendaraan terus menggelinding sementara aku berdoa minta keyakinan batin untuk lanjut. Entah kenapa aku malas dan tak percaya diri. Aku tidak tahu kisah kebaikan Tuhan apa yang harus kuutarakan nanti.

Puji dan syukur kuhaturkan kepadaNya yang sudah mengantarku selamat sampai di sel hari ini, walau kebimbangan dan rasa tak percaya diri terus menghantui hanya beberapa kilometer menjelang keluar jalan bebas hambatan. Aku berterima kasih boleh memperoleh keluarga rohani di Perth, di mana aku bisa bersenda-gurau bersama sambil membagikan cerita-cerita serta pergumulan rohani. Aku yakin ini bagian dari jalanNya bagiku, dengan memberikan wadah untuk menyelami lautan Surat CintaNya. Di sini aku bisa menyembah Tuhan dengan lebih leluasa. Setidaknya kerinduanku sejak di bangku SD untuk masuk dalam mudika tercapai. Dalam sel, segala kekangan jasmani dan duniawi bisa terlepaskan selagi doa puji dan syukur berlangsung. Pengalaman rohani yang sungguh unik. Dapat kurasakan hatiku yang haus akan siraman rohani. Saat aku masuk Sel Theresa, aku merasa menemukan sel yang cocok buatku. Santa Theresa dari kanak-kanak Yesus, doakanlah dan lindungilah kami senantiasa. Buat kami agar lebih mencintai Yesus, lebih ingin dibentukNya.

Pengharapan

Lihatlah pesan yang Allah, melalui GerejaNya, ingin sampaikan kepada kita hari Minggu besok. Aku tertegur ketika tadi bersama-sama membaca dan merenungkannya. Oh betapa indahnya! Apakah kalian khawatir akan masa depan kalian? Di tahun yang baru ini banyak sekali hal yang tidak pasti. Keadaan ekonomi yang terus terpuruk menyebabkan angka pengangguran, bahkan di Australia, terus menanjak, dan lain sebagainya. Bagaimana nasib kita? Khawatirkah kita akan masalah sekolah, relasi, residensi, atau ekonomi? Gereja Katolik optimis, seharusnya Anda juga. Simak potongan perikop bacaan pertama di bawah ini:

(Yesaya 55:2) Mengapakah kamu belanjakan uang untuk sesuatu yang bukan roti, dan upah jerih payahmu untuk sesuatu yang tidak mengenyangkan? Dengarkanlah Aku maka kamu akan memakan yang baik dan kamu akan menikmati sajian yang paling lezat.

(Yes 55:8) Sebab rancangan-Ku bukanlah rancanganmu, dan jalanmu bukanlah jalan-Ku, demikianlah firman TUHAN.

(Yes 55:9) Seperti tingginya langit dari bumi, demikianlah tingginya jalan-Ku dari jalanmu dan rancangan-Ku dari rancanganmu.

Nah, apa yang bisa kita petik? Kita harus hidup sesuai jalanNya dan percaya akan setiap rancanganNya. Dengarkanlah dan renungkanlah FirmanNya. Hidup beriman akan membuahkan penyertaan yang senantiasa. Tuhan menjamin ia tidak akan sia-sia (ay. 11). Mengapa kita harus takut akan masa depan yang tidak akan terwujud dalam 10 tahun apabila yang akan kita lakukan beberapa jam lagi saja tidak pasti? Berikut kutipan dari bacaan kedua:

(1 Yoh 5:3-4) Sebab inilah kasih kepada Allah, yaitu, bahwa kita menuruti perintah-perintah-Nya. Perintah-perintah-Nya itu tidak berat, sebab semua yang lahir dari Allah, mengalahkan dunia. Dan inilah kemenangan yang mengalahkan dunia: iman kita.

Beriman itu penting. Beriman menuntut lebih dari sekadar percaya. Iman juga menuntut keberserahan, keyakinan, kepatuhan, dan ketaatan akan kenyataan yang tidak kasat mata. Iman kita mampu mengalahkan hal-hal yang bersifat dunia! Tuhan pasti menyertai kita senantiasa dalam angin ribut yang akan datang. Amin.

Pembaptisan Tuhan

Hari Minggu lalu Tuhan seolah-olah menampakkan semuanya kepadaku. Saat Misa Kudus berlangsung aku serasa disadarkan kembali makna dari semua ini. Makna dan inti hidup serta tujuanku. Arah gerak dan fokusku dibenahiNya. Allah Bapa senantiasa merupakan pokok yang tidak tergantikan. Aku sadar, akan betapa lemahnya diriku terhadap badai godaan-godaan duniawi. Aku tidak akan mampu bertahan suci tanpa bantuan Tuhan. Malam itu aku berdoa memohon bimbinganNya.

Nah, setelah Hari Raya Penampakan Tuhan minggu lalu dan Hari Raya Keluarga Kudus pada beberapa minggu sebelumnya (Aku lupa, hehe), minggu ini Gereja merayakan Hari Raya Pembaptisan Tuhan. Semua itu belum sempurna tanpa pembaptisan. Pembaptisan adalah pokok upacara inisiasi iman Kristen. Pembaptisan adalah tanda lahir baru dalam kehidupan Kristiani yang juga baru. Di tahun yang baru ini janji baptis yang kita ikrarkan sejumlah waktu yang lampau, bahkan yang diemban wali baptis kita apabila dibaptis bayi, hendaknya diperbarui dan disegarkan kembali. Kita kembali diingatkan akan arah dan tujuan hidup kita. Bahwa kita semua sudah menerima anugerah dari karya keselamatan ilahi dalam Kristus Yesus dan oleh karenanya juga mendapat bagian dari kewajiban mengikuti Dia.

Bacaan Injil hari Minggu ini berkisah tentang Yesus yang turut mengantre untuk dibaptis di sungai Yordan oleh Yohanes Pembaptis. Alangkah mulianya Tuhan kita! Ia merendahkan hatinya sedemikian rupa sehingga juga harus dibaptis oleh seorang manusia pendahuluNya yang mempersiapkan kedatanganNya. Demikian juga segala sesuatu membutuhkan pengalahan diri. Kita harus mengalah akan aturan-aturan yang berlaku. Seperti aku dan kisahku tentang polis asuransi di artikel sebelumnya. Lain ladang lain belalang, lain lubuk lain ikannya. Seringkali kita harus mengalah tapi bukan berarti kalah. Kita tidak boleh angkuh.

(Markus 1:7b-8) “Sesudah aku akan datang Ia yang lebih berkuasa dari padaku; membungkuk dan membuka tali kasut-Nyapun aku tidak layak. Aku membaptis kamu dengan air, tetapi Ia akan membaptis kamu dengan Roh Kudus.”

(Mrk 1:9) Pada waktu itu datanglah Yesus dari Nazaret di tanah Galilea, dan Ia dibaptis di sungai Yordan oleh Yohanes.

Siapkah kita untuk menerima pembaruan janji baptis kita? Apakah iman kita masih setengah-setengah? Apakah kita masih terlontang-lantung dalam kehidupan duniawi? Ingatkah kita akan janji ilahi kepada kita? Apakah kita siap berserah kepadaNya untuk setiap pergumulan dan kekhawatiran masa depan kita? Berdoalah dengan rajin dan jangan pantang menyerah dalam memohon. Mintalah seperti seorang anak kecil yang tulus dan bersabar, sebab segala sesuatu akan terkabulkan dalam waktuNya. Tuhan memberkati kita semua di tahun yang baru ini.

Dan tolong diingat, bahwa aku menulis dengan gaya bicara seolah-olah berkhotbah seperti ini bukan berarti aku anak yang suci. Sebab aku bukan! Aku ini manusia yang rentan dengan segala kelemahan akan godaan konstan dari si jahat dan sering jatuh ke dalam jurang dosa. Jadi, mari kita sama-sama berjuang. Selamat menempuh tahun baru dalam Kristus Yesus, Juruselamat kita yang hidup dan berkuasa kini dan sepanjang segala masa. Amin.

Privacy vs. Patience

2009-01-10T01:13:00.001+09:00

Frankly, I’m still not in a good mood now. All because of one phone call in mid-afternoon. I realised where I am. And which rules I need to abide. And that there are boundaries. Rules are rules here in Australia, and bending them is one thing one cannot do with ease.

The title suggests this has something to do with privacy and indeed it does. If I were to be given the humble opportunity to change any Australian laws, privacy would be right up on my top 10 list. And don’t get me wrong, I am not here to discuss extreme cases whereby privacy is extremely important. Please consider the following cases:

Under their parents’ instruction (there is a permission and a family relationship here), one is to phone X insurance company with the good intention of finding out the reasons behind such a high increase in the policy’s annual premium. One is enquiring on behalf of the insured and is themselves secondarily insured within the policy. Every single detail needed for confirmation is in the possession of one’s hand. The mainly insured is currently overseas and so is unable to make the call themselves.
Under the authorisation of one’s daughter who is already well above the legal age, one is to withdraw from a bank a sum of money stored under the daughter’s account (again note the family relationship and permission). One has acquired an authorisation letter signed by their daughter. One is to withdraw the money at the bank, and is in the possession of every confirmation details needed.

Depending on your judgement of both cases you may end up thinking it’s already common practice and is well within one’s common sense that one is going to be denied access to necessary data of one’s relative despite the availability of either verbal or written permissions. Okay, that is fine. That might come as a result of having been living with strictly no-access privacy laws ever since you can remember. But for my family and I, including my other relatives, the legal issue here is just completely nonsensical. Your judgement might be affected by your culture, too. For example, and I am making a rough generalisation here, in Asian culture it is commonplace that wealth is shared in one’s direct family members. That especially applies to scenario no. 2 from above, implying that it is perfectly fine to share your money with your parents.

Long story short, my family and I have encountered numerous difficulties due to this single issue, amongst many. For us, living in Australia has been a never-ending rollercoaster ride, in that it is definitely guaranteed to challenge your outsider ways of thinking with unthinkable logic! That’s how I’m going to put it.

My tip, learn to practice enormous patience in dealing with conflicting logic such as this. For me, for someone who wishes nothing is impossible, it’s not so easy. I let go of all my patience-strangulation today on the phone. I should say that I am completely aware that it is not in my position to force someone to violate a law regardless of the absurdity. I just needed to cool down for the rest of the day…

Miss Where-I-Come-From!

2009-01-07T15:02:00.001+09:00

The following are just a couple of videos I came across recently on Youtube that made me miss the country I was born in. Indonesia, I’m coming soon ^^ (still 6 days to go). Hopefully the time spent over there will be a good and happy one.

First of all, the new Garuda Indonesia theme song. It’s just one of those songs that leave you seriously trembling with excitement, and well might I add, pride. Just hope the airline will improve accordingly. For English version click here.

Then there is this Indomie song that combines traditional dialects. While not leaving you as trembling as the previous one, this is a jingle that’s stuck with me since childhood. Moreover Indomie is now famous all around the globe.

That’s it. More later.

Another New Year

2009-01-01T14:29:00.001+09:00

Who’s looking forward to 2009? Everyone, right? Maybe not so for businesses. Well, whether you want it or not here it is right in front of our very eyes! Let’s face it: yet another year full of work and study. Let’s all hope and pray for another good and prosperous year for all of us, shall we? God bless us all.

How did you celebrate your New Year’s Eve? I spent it with my family in Perth, walking around the Northbridge area while having little snacks till they fill our stomachs to the max. Streets were closed and stages were set. Colourful LED screens flashed test runs of countdown timers and buzzing speakers announced test messages, while we waited till dark.

It was blazing hot outside and we needed to cool ourselves down with a couple of serves of ice creams. That was nice. By nightfall it’s gotten a little cooler with the breeze. We caught up with the beginning of the stage shows. There were dancers on stilts to entertain the public —well mostly the young adults— and not-so-surprisingly loads of police officers.

But we left, got in the car and started wandering around city centre to see what else is happening. Well, nothing much in this barren and deserted village of Perth. Looks pretty much like a dead town—and this is NYE we’re talking about! Dark, almost no cars. Except for some crowds around the stages and several pubs. Yep, gotta get used to this. It’s Perth. (Supposedly there was to be a little fireworks show in the city at midnight, but we’ve decided to attend the Midnight Mass at our parish, so, too bad!)

Okay, time for some interesting things we spotted last night:

Police on 2m tall horses galloped through the spot we stood
Those horses had pretty bad toilet behaviour, too
Their droppings were right on where we stood before giving way
People stormed through and stepped on their droppings *Gasps!* A big, empty restaurant that’s open! Not so inviting, are they?

All in all, we’ve gotten out nothing short of pure family enjoyment followed by a perfecto Midnight Mass! Oh, how nice to still be mindful of God on New Year’s Eve. The Mass was really beautiful.

On NY’s day, the Catholic Church celebrates the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God. The title Theotókos has been used for Mary early on in Church history by our Church Fathers since at least 3rd century AD and written in their various legacy writings. It was finally affirmed formally at the Third Ecumenical Council held in Ephesus in 431 after extensive examinations. Jan 1st is also declared the World Day of Peace by the Holy See and all of these events in our liturgical calendar are there to remind us of the Christian messages for our civil year. Through Mary, we have received the Author of Life, the source of Salvation for the World, Jesus Christ.

How beautiful and deeply historical is our Catholic Church! I’m so grateful for all her beauty and richness in theology. Thanks be to God forever. The Catholic Church family still hopes and prays that one day all Christians will be together again in unity. In fact it’s one thing in the Pope’s daily prayer.

That’s all folks! Happy New Year! Hope your NY gifts were not animal droppings like some of these unfortunate people… What are your resolutions? What were your last year’s? Hope to be able to keep them for a year, hey? ^^

External Link:
Info on the 8th Day of Christmas (Feast of Mary, Mother of God)

My First Lasagne

2008-12-30T16:37:00.001+09:00

Surely it’s not your first lasagne Edward? How could you? Oh, no. Indeed it’s not the first one I’ve digested. It’s the first one I’ve ever cooked! By myself! Interested? Read on…

Here’s how you can make your own customised lasagne:

For those of you who found it hard to understand… Well you’re lucky today because I’ve prepared another simpler method to understand:

Understood it yet? No? Then you’re out of luck I’m telling you! But of course, like me, you can make a few improvisations of your own.

So here’s my first go at it and an insider look at my 3 hour worth of work! The beginning stages have been completed, finally!

The layering part was fun… except when you all of a sudden discovered a mistake (I’ll talk more on this later).

And before that happened you realised you’re out of meat!

And before that, you noticed you’ve got way too much…
béchamel sauce! o la la..

~o.O~

Next, of course you put them in the oven for way too long…

Well, here we go… it’s in the oven and whoops.. can you help me spot my mistake, Kids? Yeeess that’s right, G’Boy, Good Girl!

15 minutes later was when my suspicion got matured. The top layer of lasagne was not at all getting more malleable.. NOT melting! !!

Haha, and Kids, that’s the story of me discovering that you DO NOT put a layer of lasagne without a bit of meat and béchamel on top!

Haha.. too late, so it was time for the Chef’s improvisation…

I grabbed a packet of shell-looking pasta and started boiling it. Those I mixed with left-over meat and tomato paste to disguise their look and taste… and uhm.. I collected the dried lasagne from the top and started layering them as if it’s another pan of lasagne! My shell pasta became the substitute for the meat… Nice!

Except when you tried eating it later… The layers are way too crispy… Oh give me a break ~^.^~ It was nice though..

Result:
The lasagne was too salty
The improvisation turned out nice
Crispy layers of lasagne was good
Next time use less salt!
It fed me well…

Comments:
It took way too long to cook
Meat was dried up too many times
That’s when it got too salty
So use less salt after each mix
Nice Italian food…

And so that was it…! Me cooking improvised lasagne. I didn’t use yellow pepper, cherry tomatoes or Parmigiano Reggiano cheese and I changed white wine to Chinese cooking wine (How about that? A bit of Eastern touch to it…). I bought the ingredients in a rush and started cooking at 11pm-12am. Paused. Continued 11am-1pm today.

Stay tuned for another one of my cooking… Maybe.

Not to Edit! Go Away Imperfections…

2008-12-29T21:38:00.001+09:00

One of the reasons for my past failures in maintaining a straight blog is the weakness that I have in facing a lack of trivial details in my previous posts. Now I’ve been learning to fade my perfectionism away a bit and try to be lax in obeying my own standard or perception of a ‘perfect blog’. I’m not gonna touch that previous post for anymore that 2 after-posting edits! No, 2 edits are enough! If they’re still not ‘perfect’ enough then I’ve decided to make an additional post on top of it. Like this one for instance. Hehe… am I smart or am I smart?

It’s really hard being a perfectionist you know. I was not born perfectionist, I can tell you that. But I’ve been training myself to be one! How sad? Well..not really I guess… Naturally I thought it was good being all perfect? Didn’t you when you were little? Oh come on… Hahaha.. Yea, so somehow or other I started putting my toothbrush and all the toothbrushes in a straight line. No, they can’t be slightly tilted.. Noo… I’d have to go back and fix things I put down if they’re not straight enough. Haha, so that’s how I started. I didn’t go on further really, apart from ‘perfect’ ways of doing things, like programming and assignments or wording of essays; ‘perfect’ choice of things, like this blog’s theme (which was chosen after about 17 hours of looking around the web). That’s all… Haha...

There’s been some benefits that I’ve gained along the way from being that way. But there’s also been some annoying moments. Like choosing a blog’s design and tweaking it for example. This one took me about 3 and a half days of decision making. Shorter than normally I guess… and I didn’t try making my own template this time!

I am moving away from all my perfectionism though… But I am choosing to keep some of the non-extreme ones that have brought me benefits in the past. So things like tedious editing of my essays are still going to be in place for quite a while .^^.

Let’s Get On?

Okay now after four paragraphs of introductory notes… we shall get on with what I was going to add to my previous post. Firstly it’s why I decided to give blogging another chance and lastly.. well, this last one’s already been mostly mentioned. It’s how long I spent modifying this blog before it’s ready.

Why I blog? Here’s a few reasons why…

I’ve always wanted to keep a diary for future reference
Many of my friends have already kept a running blog
I’ve read lots of cool blogs & thought it’d be nice to keep my own
There’s this new thing comin’ ‘round.. Windows Live Writer, YES!
I wanna make sure my thoughts and reflections are documented
I wanna make sure I start doing this before the end of 2008
I want my whole university life well recorded
Family reasons and for personal keepsake
It is exciting to have your thoughts read by different people
It’s just a thing that’s IN now .^^.

Apart from those, there are other personal reasons too. And uh, delving further into this whole keeping-a-diary thing, I’ve even bought a personal journal book for that matter, thinking that I might write my thoughts into it. Yeah, right… as if! To date, I’ve ended up leaving 197 pages blank. But the most important thing is that I’m more than happy to journey further into this blogging world! Yiihaa!! Go me!

Another thing that I need not mention is how long I’ve been preparing this blog for. Yes, yes… Three long days of staring into my laptop’s screen. It’s pathetic really. But here we are, 1000 pages of websites later, my blog is all setup and I’m onto my second original post of the year! The elaborate past was gone when the unpredictable future awaits. I’m ready now! Fire away…!!

A Long Wait

2008-12-29T12:46:00.001+09:00

My blog is finally up and running! I am really excited to try this (not-so) new adventure. Needless to say this is probably the tenth instance of some sort of blogs that I have had. By doing this I am just adding more to my list of unused and abandoned blogs (oh come on now ME, you’re such a pessimist!).

View Full Album

I never really knew what got me excited every time I read someone’s blog but somehow or other I would have this enormous excitement to create one of my own. Yet normally, after a few weeks of designing, hosting, and choosing the most suitable blogging platform —which I really enjoy doing (the things I am most fond of!)— the sensation sort of fades away and my blog would become abandoned. Pretty sad really, but that just how they all went.

On the bright side though… I think this time it’s gonna work! Well.. It’s going to have to at least. I’ve been meaning to capture my university life in a blog for quite a while now but never really got to the realisation of it. And now it’s been almost three whole days of tweaking, scripting, designing and the like before I can say I’m fully ready to jump into the waters. Here goes one more chance to succeed in blogging. Wish me luck not to run out of breath anymore!

That’s all for now and I am just going to go into a bit of details as to what I’m blogging with and why. Hope you enjoy, see you soon. I’m sure to have a million things to write about.

Blogging Platform

I’ve chosen Blogger this time around whereas I would normally prefer self-hosted Wordpress. The nicer interface of Wordpress was no match for the ease in skinning the new Blogger. Well, for me at least! Since I am not prepared to host the blog myself, Wordpress.com’s free blog hosting is not my cup of tea.

Being me, I will demand the ability to customise the look and feel of my blog freely, no matter what. So a restriction there is a big no-no. Here, as you can see I’ve removed the annoying Navbar and added static pages like About and Contact as well as a Search Box and a Contact Form. This is how I like my blog be served.

Blogging Tools

I’ve tried a few desktop applications that are supposed to help you write blogs offline and then ‘seamlessly’ have them ready on your online server. Just like that! WYSIWYG interface and the like! Yet I have never tried one as magnificently amazing painless piece of software as… —you’ll never guess… it turns out to be a Microsoft software!— Windows Live Writer.

I guess Microsoft really gets me now. I was gonna try buying a Macbook earlier in September but decided that thing was a little (but largely) outside of my budget and went for an ASUS little (or not-so-little) contraption instead. Anyway, Writer isn’t like any other tools out there.

It’s amazingly simple to use and I’d even dare say a child can use it!

The What You See Is What You Get interface isn’t just a bunch of lies over here. That’s because you get an integrated CSS into your editing screen to make it looks as if you’re doing a traditional website editing.

I’ve tried several WYSIWYG interfaces carried with various programs and somehow all of them seemed to have the ability to mess up your HTML codes if you start getting into more drag and drop sort of actions. Now, this one doesn’t! Amazing!

Well, if all this babbling doesn’t make any sense to you then I suggest you go on to Microsoft’s website, yes, go on… and download this wonderful thing.

There’s even requests to make this software available on Mac. Yes, it’s that good. And the best thing is that it’s free.

Walking Through Time: A Discovery

2007-03-27T12:27:00.000+08:00

Raging waters of enormous depth, thickly unilluminated
as gazed from great altitude, ... in the midst of mighty winds...,
parallel to which... a stern window was adrift.
There was a person behind it.

I can still freshly relive
     that solemn moment,
relive it in between the fissures of turbulent images,
     my natural filmstrips:
1 am — a slash of white blurred my reverie with
     a distinct flight ambience
distinctive aroma and blurry pictures of something familiar,
     seeped in,
crudely intruding, as different levels of my senses...
     surfaced to enriched reality.
Third and three-quarters staggering hour of the journey,
     yet the enduring suffocation
still aimlessly soared... on both thresholds of
     restless abstractions and/or slumber;
my perplexed mind being an aggravation that
     would not harmonise the latter.

Vivid, lively depictions of
     gone cheery reminiscence, climaxes, friends
flashbacked, gushing like undammable rapids,
     poignantly unreachable,
as the last cart was drawing perspectively closer,
     the sound so unbearable
like a prison-issue parallel. As I motioned,
     a prickling aura conjured the inedible
into its opposite, and air particles
     reverberated murmurs of tinny PA, whose soliloquy
wove an incisive impression. Unsubtitled
     Hollywood-like noise. 'Qantas' was perceived,
with striking audibility, only to start me wondering
     why I chose the carrier.
Under fluorescent white, 20,000 ft superior to the blue rage
     there was great uncertainty.

Morning mist. Lonely township.
     A simple "Where am I?" thought
foreshadowed an inner submissive cry
     of the morning commuting.
A blank stare through the passenger window became lucid.
     Waving trees.
[C]alculative [B]oredom [C]ollage.
     Things had changed since that night,
audibly manifested by semi-comprehensible
     voices of the background chatter.
Teachers transcended incomplete puzzles,
     periods lapsed... as every second
was spent with riveted profound mind
     rendering each spoken word.
The shrill concluding siren resembled brisk obsoleteness...
     Had things really changed?

***

A distant blare of extraterrestrial thunder,
in an abundance of haziness
lazily straining me back to vigilance, back to class.
The thunder was a speech.
Full of anguish, I discovered myself thrust into
a smoky Electronics period.

I can still freshly relive
     that solemn moment,
the moment I encountered this friend of mine
     amid burning soldering irons,
amongst every social blunder imaginable. I inhaled.
     The copious smoke yield
mesmerised my senses.
     Consciousness receded at ease... back to
ultimate tranquillity, a regurgitated old memory
     atop green misty mountains...
the taste of grilled corns amid refreshing holiday visions
     of tea plantations.
Just then... his sheer vocalised words spiked
     the lingering intangible odour.
The vocal of which concealed something
     about his speech that I hadn't deciphered.

Icily inducing, identical to a deja vu,
     was a memory recollection
from which a dim figure was emitted, an old friend..
     as a word started to emerge.
A word used to describe the patient rhythms
     that resolutely juggled,
as neat fragments of sentences were being verbalised by...
     this friend of mine.
The smoke faded, the extent of the word
     became consciously apparent.
I gazed elsewhere, thinking... seeing... smelling... things in mind,
though not a reverie anymore, no, who would even dare?
     The smoke re-entered.
I eyed the apparatus in front of me, voiced something —
     followed by a warm grin.

Running through a windy labyrinth, I felt myself.
     Obscurely peering through every fissure.
Irresolution dominated, so great the intensity
     that it rigidly engulfed my torso. Tapering gap,
through which I restrained my sight,
     displayed a pretty garden. A change of seasons.
Cherishable moment, almost an exploit,
     dissipated the evocative parable with a sigh. ‘Life goes on’.
Harsh as it seems, a repertoire of caustic remarks escaped.
     A mere wit of aforesaid word, (though).
A warm scent, strangely enough purged the chill;
     deadened by a desirable comfort, of words.
Rotating clock hands, falling leaves from silhouettes of snowy trees..
     cycled as friendship grew.
Daze tardily turned into dazzle. As I spun, sky falling down on me,
     I sensed my assimilation.

Edited to suit the style of my blog.
The original version of this monologue
was composed and dedicated for one of my good friends.

Pengabdian Sejatiku

2005-12-08T11:53:00.000+08:00

Kemurnian sosok pribadimu
memancingku
membetulkan fokus arahanku

          Meski badai bandang
          menghantui kita
          langkah dan ketegaranku tetap

Kesabaranku menanti
mematahkan semburan api
menerobos, menelaah hutan duri

          Semburat pelangi
          melukiskan
          tak ternilainya kasihku

Hati yang Pedih

2005-12-08T11:45:00.000+08:00

Hari demi hari makin hampa
mengapa nasib berkata begini
menyesal tak berbuah banyak
tetap kuingin semua… seperti semula

          Kuingin mengiris hati merahku
          untuk kuhadiahkan dalam bingkisan
          bagimu, pencuri perasaan terdalamku
          mengapa firasatku membisikkan
          engkau akan segera menolaknya?

Masa Itu

2005-12-08T11:38:00.000+08:00

Kala kukembali
menyusuri lorong waktu
‘ku tak dapat
melewatkan momen itu

          Satu dari sedikit
          kilasan kenangan tak bernoda
          yang tak sampai hati
          kuacuhkan

Oh malaikat polosku
kuberharap
kaumasih mengingatnya
masa itu

          Semburat putih
          membanjiri layar adegan
          masa itu
          pesona terpancar darimu

Tak memudar
bak langkah-langkah perkasa
kuda pacuan
di kalbu usangku

          Masa itu, ... seakan
          bergulir di padang hijau
          masa itu...
          pandangan pertamaku

Budi Seorang Balita

2005-12-08T11:30:00.001+08:00

Menit demi menit menguap
tanpamu seorang
tak kuasa rasanya
sebatang kara...

          Tubuhku lunglai... pucat
          hati gundahku bergemuruh
          melihat sekitar
          seolah waktu tersendat

Sosok-sosok asing
kini mengitariku
apa yang harus
kuperbuat? Oh...

          Suasana ini
          dulu terpikirkan pun tidak
          kini ia merampas
          kewenangan diriku

Suara itu
terdengar akrab
irama yang sama, suara
jarum jam yang menyiksa

          Mengapakah
          mulai hari ini
          kuterjeblos... ke dalam
          perangkap makhluk dewasa?

Akhirnya, suatu
momen yang tak terlupakan
sesosok akrab tertatih gemericik,.. Bunda?!
di bawah rintik hujan... menjemputku

          Kusadar, rupanya
          lolongan liar tadi
          menyudahi segalanya
          hari pertamaku bersekolah...

Harapan Natal

2005-12-08T11:25:00.000+08:00

Natal ini
kutermenung sendiri
di kerimbunan sepi
terduduk di pojok katedral ini

          Sesekali terdengar
          dentangan nyaring lonceng
          merdunya kian mengusik
          keasyikanku dalam kekhusyukan

Bayangan samar-samar
keheningan kota,… di luar sana
malam terselimuti
hujan salju nan lembut

          Kukembali termenung
          seakan ditertawakan
          bayang-bayang
          anak-anak terbahak dalam salju

Kata-kata itu
membelai lembut kulitku
kehangatan itu
menambah kerinduanku

          Gugusan salju yang kukenal
          ialah gugusan kemurnian
          hatimu semata
          masa-masa berkilauan itu

Kusadar kalau
kegembiraan, indahnya natal ini
nyaris hampa
tanpa kehadiran dirimu

Pantulan Bayang Senja

2005-12-07T23:10:00.000+08:00

Di balik kaca jendela ini

kutermenung, kumerenung, terkesima

gugusan rasi bintang putih tampak redup

ibarat banjaran citra-citra kenangan nan romantis

Terpaan rintik gerimis di kaca

menggelitik saraf senyum mungilku

sembari tersipu, kilasan, torehan tak sempurna

tentang masa-masa indah kita, kini terpeti-eskan

Guliran kenangan tak tergapai

bagaikan gerakan lambat laun roda-roda pedati

melindas, meremukkan kalbu sakralku

oh mengapa waktu harus berlalu

Saat kaupergi dulu, hati luguku

harus menerima sabetan kilat

kini walau jarak jurang hampa terbentang

kaumasih mengharumkan hati mengangaku

Dari sini, walau tak sampai daya

hasratku tetap pasti, di lubuk hatiku

untuk melawat, menghampirimu, menghapus jarak kelam ini

dekapanku kusimpan bagimu seorang

Biasan cahaya dari prisma tetesan hujan

membutakan mataku

membekukan hatiku..... dari alam saat ini

menjemput tatapan mata..... dan ambang pintu hatimu

Tiga Patah Kata

2005-12-06T21:18:00.003+08:00

Wahai, tahukah kau
betapa pedih dan pilunya hati ini
menanggung kuk perasaan,
emosi, dan tiga patah kata
yang tak bertuan, berpangkal tak berujung
yang mencucurkan air mata tak ternilai
kian mendalam

          Wahai Dambaan, sang pelipur hati beta
          tidak tercercahkah di palung lubuk kalbumu
          ketika di kala rautan gejolak menderu
          hatiku menjerit pahit
          pikiran kelabuku memuntahkan siratan jauh, curahan
          tentang dirimu

Wahai Kemuliaan, sang amanat dan harapan
tidakkah selama ini
kausadar.....
tentang bagaimana arus di dadaku
tak terbendungkan
tentang kesiapan pribadiku
menangkap berkas tubuhmu nan suci
dalam kehangatan kepakan sayap nyeriku ini

          Wahai hatiku sayang, yang terus berkesah
          kini akhirnya kausadari
          kaualami kiranya..... jerit tangis dan raung kesakitan
          hasil penancapan panah asmara nan berbunga dan semerbak
          alangkah murninya.... alangkah matangnya
          perasaan kian menyesakkan ini
          ibarat sayatan pisau terasah tak mematikan

Wahai, namun kuakui
alangkah pilu dan menusuknya
masa penantian panjang, remang-remangku ini
masaku mengembara bersama... serta mencari... Waktu
yang tepat untuk
menduniakan, menuturkan tiga patah kata
tertanam di ujung kuntum lidah duri tak berdayaku
Aku....... Cinta....... Kau.......!